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CBA History and Rules.. HA! We don't need no stinkin Rules!

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Many moons ago, at an FJR owners meet, in Reno, Nevada for the Western FJR Owners meet, (WFO), held in July 2006, late at night, after a few brews..
An idea  surfaced that while the IBA is a fine and noble organization of  individuals, some of us place little value in 1,000 plus mile days..  there is more to riding than that for us.. in short, we are Candy Butt  riders who will probably never proudly tote an IBA plate on the back of  our FJR's.

Thus, in that magic moment of a warm intoxicated Reno night  the Candy Butt Association (CBA) was formed.  

To quote Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a CBA rider if:

  1. You like to stop often. No need to be held slave to a 1,000 mile day just to say you did it.
  2. You like to read historical markers, take pictures, actually  converse with the natives, stop by the creek, take your boots off  and get your feet wet.
  3. Your idea of a fantastic day is < 10 hours in the saddle and < 400 miles traveled because you were lolly-gagging, posey-sniffing, eating and talking.
  4. You like to eat, and eat well.. often too! Stopping to eat at  the old 1950's diner is a must.. even if you just ate an hour ago. A  lobster and steak house? Ummm. Must stop.
  5. You will stop for silly and stupid road side attractions. Like  painted purple cows or cars stuffed nose first in the dirt, all in  one big line.
  6. Your idea of packing for a trip does not include Preparation H,  Monkey Butt, jell or padded shorts. Who needs them anyway?

The best part of being a CBA member? Well, we eat better and drink  more than our IBA counterparts. Our cash kitty will be much larger than  the IBA thus allowing even bigger events and only the best food and  drinks.  Practically anyone can join the CBA as there are no real rules, just a few guidelines to keep it real. Here's a quick list..

  1. Your membership is $5.00. This is a one time fee and feeds the kitty.
  2. Anyone caught or confessing to riding more than 400 miles in  one day will be assessed a 2x monetary penalty of the membership  fee or amount of the last infraction. For example, if BrunDog were  to ride 401 miles in 24 hours, he would have to pay the kitty $10.  The next infraction would be $20.
  3. The maximum any member is required to pay is $160 yearly. That  should get the   long distance IBA stuff outta of yer blood for at  least a year.

See how the kitty can grow quickly with this crowd? Every year a big blow out event will be held. The entire  purpose of this event  is CBA camaraderie, El Torro poo-poo  sessions, and to completely spend all money in the kitty for food  and drink. Maybe some cigars too.

Ps – this is all a joke. If you are a proud IBA member  don't get your rear in a roar. If it is in a roar, apply more Monkey Butt powder.  Do not send me money. This is a joke intended to promote good fun and  jesting between members in this virtual community. I hope it is received  in this spirit. If enough interest exists, who knows, maybe something could evolve of theCBA.. but for now, just relax, smile and enjoy.

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