2
You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em, or at least that's how the saying goes. But, can you have a good time on a ride when you are outnumbered by them? The intrepid scientist in me endeavored to find out.
The plan? Something a little different this time. Instead of going on a massive coast to coast jaunt, I thought we'd try something a little saner. Death Valley National Park is a scant 270 miles from my adopted winter haven in California, so, I asked Fiona her thoughts on buzzing up there, staying overnight, taking some pictures, doing some touristy sightseeing stuff, then buzzing back home?
Simple plan, right? Maybe too simple. How can I complicate it a bit?
Sleeping Beauty and I invited Keith's sister Jessica to come along, and she readily agreed. Another first! Not one butTWO hot chicks and dumb ol' me! I've never been outnumbered by the fairer sex on a motorcycle trip before. OK, now we're getting complicated. Perfect!
Thursday morning took forever to arrive. Isn't that always the way when you have something great planned? The hours and days slowly trickle by. Stuck at work, I spent my time wisely; learning everything I could about Death Valley, scouring maps, reading other ride reports, tracking down waypoints and loading the GPS.
Finally, Death Valley Day dawned. Fiona had been battling a nasty cold all week, and was feeling, in her words, 'like shit.' Concerned, I asked her if she wanted to cancel the trip. "Death Valley will always be there," I reasoned, "We can go another time."
She replied, "No. *ACHOO!* We're going! *SNIFF SNIFF* What would we *SNIFF* do, sit here and watch *ACHOO!*TV?"
Bless you. Seriously!
We loaded up Rain Cloud Follows, decked out in brand new Pilot Road II's and a newly installed, super sweet Ohlin's rear shock; pulled out of the driveway, and, a little later than planned but with Fiona finally feeling up to the task at hand, we were soon on our way to meet up with Jessica.
The shortest route between our house and hers is also the curviest; a squiggly line on the map better known as the fantastic Angeles Forest Highway. Another great road in a series of great roads all within 15 miles of the house... why don't I live here again??
Anyway, we met Jessica and headed north. Not directly north, because that would be too easy, and too boring. We headed northwest-ish instead. I decided we'd sample Caliente Bodfish road, another fantastic looking squiggle that kept coming up in my work-sponsored trip research phase.
About an hour up Route 58, we had a slight problem. I doubted we had enough gas to get from Caliente to Bodfish, and also doubted there would be much in the way of gas stations on this road. My trusty GPS indicated the closest station was in the town of Arvin, eleven miles in the opposite direction. Without much choice, we turned left, and were pleasantly greeted by the most expansive fields of incredible wildflowers I have ever seen.
Yup. I knew this trip would be different. I soon learned when on a chick-trip, you not only stop to smell the flowers, you pick them too!
This rolling train of Beemers have no idea what they missed.
Caliente Bodfish road was everything I expected, and more. Free range cows amble aimlessly along roadsides, and sometimes even in the road.
We cork-screwed around in the foothills of the Sierra Mountains for a few pleasant hours, winding through the scenic valley, and sometimes scaring ourselves silly as the radiuses (radii?) of the corners suddenly decreased. My new Ohlins shock got a serious workout on the uneven surface of this twisty, fun road.
Still somewhat embarrassed by the girly flower debacle, we stopped to get a more... err... manly picture.
A tank! Whew! That's better!
Finishing my seventy mile detour, we headed for the town of Ridgecrest. Once again close to empty, we stopped in a small gas station for fuel. Two young kids on old dirtbikes, deep in discussion, stopped whatever they were doing and came racing over to check us out.
The older one on the blue Honda checked out my FJR as I checked out his bike. "It's a sixty-seven," he told me with a small measure of pride.
The boys asked if we were on a long trip, and when I told then where we came from and where we were going, they just said, "Cooooool." I asked if Mr. Sixty-Seven wanted to trade bikes with me, and his head almost fell off from nodding so hard. Reminded of me when I was that age, dreaming of someday having a motorcycle of my own. At least this kid had one, and apparently lived in a town where the cops don't hassle kids on motorcycles. A good place. We all filled up and went our separate ways.
Thanks to my fun, cow-filled side trip, we were still pretty far from Death Valley, and time was no longer on our side.
We stopped for dinner, and the sun sank below the horizon. With a reservation at the Furnace Creek Ranch, and no other real options, we soldiered on into the darkness.
And it was DARK dark. Complete, inky blackness surrounded us as we closed the gap between us and our goal.
My mind started playing tricks on me, trying to fill in the blank nothingness we drove into. I started 'seeing' sailing ships, flying saucers and all manner of other bizarre things. My mind conjured pictures of those freaks from The Hills Have Eyesstaggering out of the darkness. Who needs drugs when you can just ride a dark, moonless road?
At Towne Pass, 4856 feet above sea level, my FJR thermometer read 41 degrees. Fiona, still sick and suffering (silently) disliked this part of the ride. Very much. When we finally reached sea level and Furnace Creek Ranch, much to Sneezing Beauty's relief, the thermometer climbed 30 degrees to a more agreeable, more comfortable 71.
We checked in, toasted the Best Day Ever, then decided, as you would in Death Valley, to go swimming. I even got a great swimsuit picture!
Tomorrow, we tour the hell out of Death Valley, and, as they always seem to do, the plans change.
The next morning, Fiona felt a little better, which was encouraging. Right off the bat she said, "You know? We don't have anything to do tomorrow. Why don't we stay here another day? That way we can see everything without rushing through it."
Fine by me! I went to the front desk and extended our stay, and booked a surprise for sunset. Without the pressing need to rush, we took our time and relaxed. We all did our hair, our nails and makeup, talked about boys, then had a pillow fight. Traveling with hot chicks is cool!
With our titivating, primping and preening out of the way, we hit the open road, looking for adventure, and whatever comes our way.
We had to share the road with 'The Toothaches' - a burly gang of what I imagined were dentist-bikers in full biker regalia.
Our first destination was Rhyolite, an old, haunted ghost town near Beatty, Nevada. Back in 1907, this mining town had a population of five thousand, and boasted electricity, running water, and a railroad. Then, a huge economic crisis hit as greedy assholes started trading derivataves and other toxic financial instruments. The boom times soon went bust, and so did Rhyolite. Now, it only has a bunch of ruined buildings, with weird sculptures it's only residents.
The girls were eager to explore the ruins.
We all had fun with the sculptures.
Not only is there a ghostly sculpture of the Last Supper out there in the middle of the desert, there's also a huge, rusted miner with a pick axe and... a penguin?
And, if that wasn't odd enough, there is this little... Lego-like statue... err... thing... sitting out there - whatever else it is, it would be the perfect addition to our little riding group.
Frenchy's Angels
Leaving Rhyolite, we managed to take the picture we failed to get the night before.
Up next? Scotty's Castle.
A bell sat at the end of a long rope. Jessica, unable to control herself, just HAD to ring the bell.
Immediately, a dour faced old tour guide biddy in a sad little hat came over to bitch. "You know that bell is to summons the next tour group," she said. "Now that you rang the bell, you have to do the next tour."
Uhh.. no we don't. In order to pay our respects, we climbed the hill where Walter Scott, the con man who swindled his way into having this castle built, is buried.
These Two Are Troublemakers!
Scotty's Castle will forever have the distinction of being the place I had the absolute Worst Meal Ever. When starving, judgement can easily get clouded, and something as nasty as a frozen burrito can almost sound appealing. The wrapper had all the necessary warnings, including 'Previously Handled' and 'Frozen For Your Convenience.' Despite these warnings, we ate them anyway.
Trust me when I say that eating anything that was 'Previously Handled' is a bad, bad idea. We lived. Barely.
The excellently named Ubehebe Crater was next on our list.
Death Valley Park is a big place. We had to race back to Furnace Creek Ranch in order to make it in time for our Sunset Surprise.
The surprise? Trading in our hundred-horsepower steeds for a less powerful mode of transportation.
After watching the sun spectacularly dip below Telescope Peak aboard our one horsepower vehicles, we only had a few more thing left to make this Best Day Ever truly complete.
Making up for the horrendous, gut-wrenching lunch, we gorged ourselves full on steak at the Western Steakhouse, then headed out back to look at the most incredible display of the Milky Way I've ever seen.
I tried to get a really good circle star trail picture, but the damn sprinklers kept coming on, soaking everything.
And, the best news of all, we had another day to see some of the lesser known sights of Death Valley before heading home.
