You are here

Death Valley Damsels Started by Frenchy750, Mar 17 2009 07:43 AM

 

 

Photo

Death Valley Damsels

 

27 replies to this topic

#1 Frenchy750

FJR Pilot

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 132 posts
  • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:44 AM

Women. 

You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em, or at least that's how the saying goes. But, can you have a good time on a ride when you are outnumbered by them? The intrepid scientist in me endeavored to find out.

The plan? Something a little different this time. Instead of going on a massive coast to coast jaunt, I thought we'd try something a little saner. Death Valley National Park is a scant 270 miles from my adopted winter haven in California, so, I asked Fiona her thoughts on buzzing up there, staying overnight, taking some pictures, doing some touristy sightseeing stuff, then buzzing back home?

Simple plan, right? Maybe too simple. How can I complicate it a bit?

Sleeping Beauty and I invited Keith's sister Jessica to come along, and she readily agreed. Another first! Not one butTWO hot chicks and dumb ol' me! I've never been outnumbered by the fairer sex on a motorcycle trip before. OK, now we're getting complicated. Perfect!

Thursday morning took forever to arrive. Isn't that always the way when you have something great planned? The hours and days slowly trickle by. Stuck at work, I spent my time wisely; learning everything I could about Death Valley, scouring maps, reading other ride reports, tracking down waypoints and loading the GPS. 

Finally, Death Valley Day dawned. Fiona had been battling a nasty cold all week, and was feeling, in her words, 'like shit.' Concerned, I asked her if she wanted to cancel the trip. "Death Valley will always be there," I reasoned, "We can go another time."

She replied, "No. *ACHOO!* We're going! *SNIFF SNIFF* What would we *SNIFF* do, sit here and watch *ACHOO!*TV?"



Bless you. Seriously!

We loaded up Rain Cloud Follows, decked out in brand new Pilot Road II's and a newly installed, super sweet Ohlin's rear shock; pulled out of the driveway, and, a little later than planned but with Fiona finally feeling up to the task at hand, we were soon on our way to meet up with Jessica. 

The shortest route between our house and hers is also the curviest; a squiggly line on the map better known as the fantastic Angeles Forest Highway. Another great road in a series of great roads all within 15 miles of the house... why don't I live here again??

Anyway, we met Jessica and headed north. Not directly north, because that would be too easy, and too boring. We headed northwest-ish instead. I decided we'd sample Caliente Bodfish road, another fantastic looking squiggle that kept coming up in my work-sponsored trip research phase. 

About an hour up Route 58, we had a slight problem. I doubted we had enough gas to get from Caliente to Bodfish, and also doubted there would be much in the way of gas stations on this road. My trusty GPS indicated the closest station was in the town of Arvin, eleven miles in the opposite direction. Without much choice, we turned left, and were pleasantly greeted by the most expansive fields of incredible wildflowers I have ever seen.










Yup. I knew this trip would be different. I soon learned when on a chick-trip, you not only stop to smell the flowers, you pick them too!




This rolling train of Beemers have no idea what they missed.

Caliente Bodfish road was everything I expected, and more. Free range cows amble aimlessly along roadsides, and sometimes even in the road. 



We cork-screwed around in the foothills of the Sierra Mountains for a few pleasant hours, winding through the scenic valley, and sometimes scaring ourselves silly as the radiuses (radii?) of the corners suddenly decreased. My new Ohlins shock got a serious workout on the uneven surface of this twisty, fun road. 

Still somewhat embarrassed by the girly flower debacle, we stopped to get a more... err... manly picture.


A tank! Whew! That's better!

Finishing my seventy mile detour, we headed for the town of Ridgecrest. Once again close to empty, we stopped in a small gas station for fuel. Two young kids on old dirtbikes, deep in discussion, stopped whatever they were doing and came racing over to check us out. 




The older one on the blue Honda checked out my FJR as I checked out his bike. "It's a sixty-seven," he told me with a small measure of pride. 



The boys asked if we were on a long trip, and when I told then where we came from and where we were going, they just said, "Cooooool." I asked if Mr. Sixty-Seven wanted to trade bikes with me, and his head almost fell off from nodding so hard. Reminded of me when I was that age, dreaming of someday having a motorcycle of my own. At least this kid had one, and apparently lived in a town where the cops don't hassle kids on motorcycles. A good place. We all filled up and went our separate ways. 

Thanks to my fun, cow-filled side trip, we were still pretty far from Death Valley, and time was no longer on our side. 



We stopped for dinner, and the sun sank below the horizon. With a reservation at the Furnace Creek Ranch, and no other real options, we soldiered on into the darkness.

And it was DARK dark. Complete, inky blackness surrounded us as we closed the gap between us and our goal. 



My mind started playing tricks on me, trying to fill in the blank nothingness we drove into. I started 'seeing' sailing ships, flying saucers and all manner of other bizarre things. My mind conjured pictures of those freaks from The Hills Have Eyesstaggering out of the darkness. Who needs drugs when you can just ride a dark, moonless road?

At Towne Pass, 4856 feet above sea level, my FJR thermometer read 41 degrees. Fiona, still sick and suffering (silently) disliked this part of the ride. Very much. When we finally reached sea level and Furnace Creek Ranch, 
much to Sneezing Beauty's relief, the thermometer climbed 30 degrees to a more agreeable, more comfortable 71.

We checked in, toasted the Best Day Ever, then decided, as you would in Death Valley, to go swimming. I even got a great swimsuit picture!



Tomorrow, we tour the hell out of Death Valley, and, as they always seem to do, the plans change.


The next morning, Fiona felt a little better, which was encouraging. Right off the bat she said, "You know? We don't have anything to do tomorrow. Why don't we stay here another day? That way we can see everything without rushing through it." 

Fine by me! I went to the front desk and extended our stay, and booked a surprise for sunset. Without the pressing need to rush, we took our time and relaxed. We all did our hair, our nails and makeup, talked about boys, then had a pillow fight. Traveling with hot chicks is cool!



With our titivating, primping and preening out of the way, we hit the open road, looking for adventure, and whatever comes our way.



We had to share the road with 'The Toothaches' - a burly gang of what I imagined were dentist-bikers in full biker regalia.



Our first destination was Rhyolite, an old, haunted ghost town near Beatty, Nevada. Back in 1907, this mining town had a population of five thousand, and boasted electricity, running water, and a railroad. Then, a huge economic crisis hit as greedy assholes started trading derivataves and other toxic financial instruments. The boom times soon went bust, and so did Rhyolite. Now, it only has a bunch of ruined buildings, with weird sculptures it's only residents.



The girls were eager to explore the ruins.



We all had fun with the sculptures.









Not only is there a ghostly sculpture of the Last Supper out there in the middle of the desert, there's also a huge, rusted miner with a pick axe and... a penguin?



And, if that wasn't odd enough, there is this little... Lego-like statue... err... thing... sitting out there - whatever else it is, it would be the perfect addition to our little riding group.


Frenchy's Angels

Leaving Rhyolite, we managed to take the picture we failed to get the night before.



Up next? Scotty's Castle.







A bell sat at the end of a long rope. Jessica, unable to control herself, just HAD to ring the bell.



Immediately, a dour faced old tour guide biddy in a sad little hat came over to bitch. "You know that bell is to summons the next tour group," she said. "Now that you rang the bell, you have to do the next tour."

Uhh.. no we don't. In order to pay our respects, we climbed the hill where Walter Scott, the con man who swindled his way into having this castle built, is buried.




These Two Are Troublemakers!



Scotty's Castle will forever have the distinction of being the place I had the absolute Worst Meal Ever. When starving, judgement can easily get clouded, and something as nasty as a frozen burrito can almost sound appealing. The wrapper had all the necessary warnings, including 'Previously Handled' and 'Frozen For Your Convenience.' Despite these warnings, we ate them anyway.

Trust me when I say that eating anything that was 'Previously Handled' is a bad, bad idea. We lived. Barely.

The excellently named Ubehebe Crater was next on our list. 







Death Valley Park is a big place. We had to race back to Furnace Creek Ranch in order to make it in time for our Sunset Surprise.



The surprise? Trading in our hundred-horsepower steeds for a less powerful mode of transportation.





After watching the sun spectacularly dip below Telescope Peak aboard our one horsepower vehicles, we only had a few more thing left to make this Best Day Ever truly complete.

Making up for the horrendous, gut-wrenching lunch, we gorged ourselves full on steak at the Western Steakhouse, then headed out back to look at the most incredible display of the Milky Way I've ever seen. 





I tried to get a really good circle star trail picture, but the damn sprinklers kept coming on, soaking everything. 

And, the best news of all, we had another day to see some of the lesser known sights of Death Valley before heading home. 
78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

Check out my blog.

#2 Frenchy750

FJR Pilot

  • Members+
  • PipPipPip
  • 132 posts
  • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:46 AM

I set the alarm for Too Early O'Clock, because I wanted to watch the sun rise on Zabriskie Point. When the damn thing started ringing, Sniffling Beauty stirred, then announced she felt worse, and wanted to go back to sleep. It was cold, early, and cold. I couldn't blame her.











The sunrise was nice, but certainly not the overwhelming display of Mother Nature at her finest I expected. Disappointed, I hurried back to the Ranch, because the Sloppy Jalopy club was preparing to make their annual run to Beatty.













Awesome!

We got a late start, which would affect the outcome of the trip, but for now, we decided to make the best of the day, and enjoy Artist's Drive, Eureka Mine, the Charcoal Kilns and Father Crowley's Point.






Artist's Drive


The road to Eureka Mine was an exciting soft-core adventure gravel road. Though not on the right bikes for this kind of riding, Jessica was game for it, so down the dirt road we went.









The Eureka Mine was worth the 'adventure ride' to get there.










Eureka Mine
 - Aguereberry Camp and Rusted Jalopy

From Eureka Mine, it was some more soft-core adventure riding to the Charcoal Kilns, with some hardcore curves and bumps thrown in.



The Wildrose Charcoal Kilns are up a steep gravel road, at about 6500 feet. Snow lined the road as we made our way up there.






Wildrose Charcoal Kilns

From the kilns, it was time to start making tracks. Which we did. In the gravel. We hauled ass down the straight, flatness of Panamint Valley road, stopping for a snack in Panamint Springs.

I have found that on a motorcycle trip, I can eat whatever I want, without fear of those extra calories sticking to my thick middle section. I asked the waitress for my favorite motorcycle food - apple pie. She said all she had was pecan pie, but she could cut up an apple and put it on top.



Fiona, who had been suffering in silence the whole day, started to feel even worse. She is such a trooper, because if I felt as shitty as she did, I'd be whining more than I usually do. She just sat back there and suffered, without saying a word. But she was suffering, so it was time to leave Death Valley.

The ride home was dark and long, but at least it was cold. It was also totally worth it. Even Fiona, feeling as horrible as she did agreed it was a great trip. 


Our Entire 940 Mile Trip

Up next? The Road to Wrestlemania. It starts in a few weeks. Finally, Dark Meat Snack will return to riding, as we head from California to Houston, with a few nice surprises planned along the way.

Until then, Happy Riding!! 
78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

Check out my blog.

#3 okmac

FJR Squadron Leader

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 551 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:IA
  • 2007 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:52 AM

Great report and pictures, thanks for sharing. yahoo.gif 

Mac 
2007 FJR1300

#4 Tyler

Miss Demeanor

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,335 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Los Gatos, CA
  • Other or considering FJR

Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:57 AM

Great story & pics... Death Valley sure is a great place, huh? cool.gif

Hope Fiona is feeling better soon! smile.gif 

Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly.

A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles.

 

JSNS_tour50x50_zpshbxdsjhm.jpg

#5 SkooterG

Purveyor of Crooked Facts

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 11,506 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Skootsdale, AZ
  • 2004 (Gen 1) N. America
  • 2009 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:08 AM

Awesome ride report. Hot chicks. Great photos.

What else could a moto-man ask for?

Thanks for sharing. 
IBA #327........................ Darksider #52
 
FJRForum:  No fun allowed here!

FJR#1 - The 'Dirty Ol Whore' - 2004 non-abs - RIP @ 226,400 - Gone, but not forgotten.
FJR#2 - The 'Hula Girl' - 2004 ABS - 154k
FJR#3 - The 'Virgin' - 2004 ABS - 4344 miles, a garage queen
FJR#4 - The Oregon FJR - 2004 ABS - 65k
FJR#5 - The Bastard POS Gen II - 2009A - 106k
FJR#6 - 2014 FJR1300 ES
 
 Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image  Posted Image  Posted Image

#6 wheatonFJR

...

  • Banned
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 16,348 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Greenville,SC
  • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:21 AM

QUOTE (SkooterG @ Mar 17 2009, 10:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Awesome ride report. Hot chicks. Great photos.

What else could a moto-man ask for?

Thanks for sharing.


same sentiments here...thanks for the great report. 
Iggy's a douchetard.  JSNS
 

#7 Bungie

FrostBack #2 - IBA # 44620

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 4,596 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Sudbury, ON
  • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:25 AM

Kick ass report! 

100K04CLUB.jpg Sign up for the Assistance List - www.assistancelist.com

#8 BwanaDik

FJR Commander

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,720 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Conroe, TX
  • 2006 ABS AE (Gen 2) World

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:26 AM

Outstanding ride report clapping.gif Looking forward to the next one 

dropfinal.gifsfo08.gifsfo09.gifSWFOG2010.gifswfog-twitter-60px.jpgSWFOG2014_zps29cf405c.jpg BB1500 SS1000 IBA#39439

#9 SouthernCruizer

Is it Beer:30 yet?

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,410 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Eunice, LA
  • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:29 AM

Dang dude...GREAT report!! Nice pics, even nicer women type folks...gave me the fever to ROAD TRIP! yahoo.gif 

Jay®

2013 Yamaha FJR 1300
2008 Yamaha FJR 1300

2004 Yamaha FJR 1300
2004 Suzuki DL 650 (WeeStrom) & 2007 Kawasaki KLX250S

#10 Kasey

FJR Pilot

  • Members++
  • PipPipPip
  • 203 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Oliver B.C.
  • 2003 (Gen 1) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:42 AM

Well if one can't be out riding for whatever reason then your pics and report are the next best thing. Excellent! Thanks.

Kasey 
WFO 3, 5, 6 CFR '09 WCR '10

#11 airboss

FJR Commander

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,007 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Tucson, AZ
  • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America
  • 2015A (Gen 3) World

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:51 AM

Another got to go to Place, thanks Frenchy! 

Don't Know Where I'm Going........But this is Where I've Been
Normal People.....................Scare me
Anyone who doesn't know what soap taste like never washed a dog.

The Others 2013 Ducati 796 the Monster 2015 Wee Strom

#12 TCMike

FJR Squadron Leader

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 782 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Blaine, MN
  • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:54 AM

Great report. Great pictures. Looked like the girlie's had fun, and you too Frenchy. 

#13 barb

the Vixen of Vancouver Island

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,502 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Kanuckistan, the left & BEST coast!
  • 2005 ABS (Gen 1) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:55 AM

Great report, thanks for posting up! 

#14 Gizmo

FJR Pilot

  • Members++
  • PipPipPip
  • 398 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Chagrin Falls, OH
  • 2007 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:01 AM

Nicely done and Great Pics. Thanks for posting it! Makes me wish I was there... 
2007 A
2007 Suzuki M50
Send lawyers, guns and money

#15 cometman

FJR Pilot

  • Members++
  • PipPipPip
  • 415 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:San Diego, CA
  • 2004 ABS (Gen 1) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:03 AM

Thanks for sharing. I have to do that trip one day. AWESOME! ph34r.gif 

#16 rogdeb

Scouser

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,466 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rancho "Liverpool" Cordova, CA
  • Other or considering FJR

Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:09 AM

I'm feeling left out here !! All these Death Valley rides.
clapping.gif More great pics ,, another cool story. 

WFO's 1, 2, 3, 5, & 6 -- CFR '09 :-).. SW-FOG 2011 in Taos

2003 FJR (Red Sylvie) sold :-(
 
2015 CanAm Spyder RT-L (Black Sylvie)

#17 Niehart

Pie Smuggler

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,395 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Pacific Northwet [Woodinville, WA]
  • 2010 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:27 AM

Frenchy, ya crack me up man! 

"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page, [Saint Augustine). RIP Don Stanley"

#18 RollOn1

Training Pilot

  • Members+
  • PipPip
  • 26 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:West Linn, OR
  • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:50 AM

Fantastic report, great pictures and well written to boot. Glad you enjoyed the ride, wish I was there instead of splashing through the rain drenched streets of PDX!!!! 
2008 FJR 1300A
1995 Honda Magna
1987 Honda Goldwing
1991 Honda Shadow
1989 Honda Rebel

#19 dcarver

FJR Forum Post Whore

  • Members++
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 13,256 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Creston, CA
  • Interests:Bikes. Booze. Broads. Dirt. Street. Mud. Guts. Courage. Honesty.
  • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

Posted 17 March 2009 - 10:58 AM

Way cool DV report! How about having Fiona post her side of the story? yahoo.gif rolleyes.gif 
I hate being sick and travelling on motobike, especially when wearing a full face helmet - sometimes open faced helmets ARE better! 
    Walked away Posted ImagePosted Image Is it really crashing if you don't fall down?--
    I wouldn't change a fucking thing; I've lived hard, played hard, and I ain't done yet. I've paid some severe penalties along the way, but the rewards have been so much greater; even if for just have participating in the game of life with utmost abandon. It's not who rides the furthest in a day, but rather in a lifetime. CBA member #1, IBA #31845 and very proud of both.
    Posted Image

    #20 jwhite518

    FJR Squadron Leader

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPip
    • 987 posts
    • Location:San Leandro, CA
    • 2005 (Gen 1) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 11:42 AM

    Best ride report ever. 

    Photo

    Death Valley Damsels


    27 replies to this topic

    #1 Frenchy750

    FJR Pilot

    • Members+
    • PipPipPip
    • 132 posts
    • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:44 AM

    Women. 

    You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em, or at least that's how the saying goes. But, can you have a good time on a ride when you are outnumbered by them? The intrepid scientist in me endeavored to find out.

    The plan? Something a little different this time. Instead of going on a massive coast to coast jaunt, I thought we'd try something a little saner. Death Valley National Park is a scant 270 miles from my adopted winter haven in California, so, I asked Fiona her thoughts on buzzing up there, staying overnight, taking some pictures, doing some touristy sightseeing stuff, then buzzing back home?

    Simple plan, right? Maybe too simple. How can I complicate it a bit?

    Sleeping Beauty and I invited Keith's sister Jessica to come along, and she readily agreed. Another first! Not one butTWO hot chicks and dumb ol' me! I've never been outnumbered by the fairer sex on a motorcycle trip before. OK, now we're getting complicated. Perfect!

    Thursday morning took forever to arrive. Isn't that always the way when you have something great planned? The hours and days slowly trickle by. Stuck at work, I spent my time wisely; learning everything I could about Death Valley, scouring maps, reading other ride reports, tracking down waypoints and loading the GPS. 

    Finally, Death Valley Day dawned. Fiona had been battling a nasty cold all week, and was feeling, in her words, 'like shit.' Concerned, I asked her if she wanted to cancel the trip. "Death Valley will always be there," I reasoned, "We can go another time."

    She replied, "No. *ACHOO!* We're going! *SNIFF SNIFF* What would we *SNIFF* do, sit here and watch *ACHOO!*TV?"



    Bless you. Seriously!

    We loaded up Rain Cloud Follows, decked out in brand new Pilot Road II's and a newly installed, super sweet Ohlin's rear shock; pulled out of the driveway, and, a little later than planned but with Fiona finally feeling up to the task at hand, we were soon on our way to meet up with Jessica. 

    The shortest route between our house and hers is also the curviest; a squiggly line on the map better known as the fantastic Angeles Forest Highway. Another great road in a series of great roads all within 15 miles of the house... why don't I live here again??

    Anyway, we met Jessica and headed north. Not directly north, because that would be too easy, and too boring. We headed northwest-ish instead. I decided we'd sample Caliente Bodfish road, another fantastic looking squiggle that kept coming up in my work-sponsored trip research phase. 

    About an hour up Route 58, we had a slight problem. I doubted we had enough gas to get from Caliente to Bodfish, and also doubted there would be much in the way of gas stations on this road. My trusty GPS indicated the closest station was in the town of Arvin, eleven miles in the opposite direction. Without much choice, we turned left, and were pleasantly greeted by the most expansive fields of incredible wildflowers I have ever seen.










    Yup. I knew this trip would be different. I soon learned when on a chick-trip, you not only stop to smell the flowers, you pick them too!




    This rolling train of Beemers have no idea what they missed.

    Caliente Bodfish road was everything I expected, and more. Free range cows amble aimlessly along roadsides, and sometimes even in the road. 



    We cork-screwed around in the foothills of the Sierra Mountains for a few pleasant hours, winding through the scenic valley, and sometimes scaring ourselves silly as the radiuses (radii?) of the corners suddenly decreased. My new Ohlins shock got a serious workout on the uneven surface of this twisty, fun road. 

    Still somewhat embarrassed by the girly flower debacle, we stopped to get a more... err... manly picture.


    A tank! Whew! That's better!

    Finishing my seventy mile detour, we headed for the town of Ridgecrest. Once again close to empty, we stopped in a small gas station for fuel. Two young kids on old dirtbikes, deep in discussion, stopped whatever they were doing and came racing over to check us out. 




    The older one on the blue Honda checked out my FJR as I checked out his bike. "It's a sixty-seven," he told me with a small measure of pride. 



    The boys asked if we were on a long trip, and when I told then where we came from and where we were going, they just said, "Cooooool." I asked if Mr. Sixty-Seven wanted to trade bikes with me, and his head almost fell off from nodding so hard. Reminded of me when I was that age, dreaming of someday having a motorcycle of my own. At least this kid had one, and apparently lived in a town where the cops don't hassle kids on motorcycles. A good place. We all filled up and went our separate ways. 

    Thanks to my fun, cow-filled side trip, we were still pretty far from Death Valley, and time was no longer on our side. 



    We stopped for dinner, and the sun sank below the horizon. With a reservation at the Furnace Creek Ranch, and no other real options, we soldiered on into the darkness.

    And it was DARK dark. Complete, inky blackness surrounded us as we closed the gap between us and our goal. 



    My mind started playing tricks on me, trying to fill in the blank nothingness we drove into. I started 'seeing' sailing ships, flying saucers and all manner of other bizarre things. My mind conjured pictures of those freaks from The Hills Have Eyesstaggering out of the darkness. Who needs drugs when you can just ride a dark, moonless road?

    At Towne Pass, 4856 feet above sea level, my FJR thermometer read 41 degrees. Fiona, still sick and suffering (silently) disliked this part of the ride. Very much. When we finally reached sea level and Furnace Creek Ranch, 
    much to Sneezing Beauty's relief, the thermometer climbed 30 degrees to a more agreeable, more comfortable 71.

    We checked in, toasted the Best Day Ever, then decided, as you would in Death Valley, to go swimming. I even got a great swimsuit picture!



    Tomorrow, we tour the hell out of Death Valley, and, as they always seem to do, the plans change.


    The next morning, Fiona felt a little better, which was encouraging. Right off the bat she said, "You know? We don't have anything to do tomorrow. Why don't we stay here another day? That way we can see everything without rushing through it." 

    Fine by me! I went to the front desk and extended our stay, and booked a surprise for sunset. Without the pressing need to rush, we took our time and relaxed. We all did our hair, our nails and makeup, talked about boys, then had a pillow fight. Traveling with hot chicks is cool!



    With our titivating, primping and preening out of the way, we hit the open road, looking for adventure, and whatever comes our way.



    We had to share the road with 'The Toothaches' - a burly gang of what I imagined were dentist-bikers in full biker regalia.



    Our first destination was Rhyolite, an old, haunted ghost town near Beatty, Nevada. Back in 1907, this mining town had a population of five thousand, and boasted electricity, running water, and a railroad. Then, a huge economic crisis hit as greedy assholes started trading derivataves and other toxic financial instruments. The boom times soon went bust, and so did Rhyolite. Now, it only has a bunch of ruined buildings, with weird sculptures it's only residents.



    The girls were eager to explore the ruins.



    We all had fun with the sculptures.









    Not only is there a ghostly sculpture of the Last Supper out there in the middle of the desert, there's also a huge, rusted miner with a pick axe and... a penguin?



    And, if that wasn't odd enough, there is this little... Lego-like statue... err... thing... sitting out there - whatever else it is, it would be the perfect addition to our little riding group.


    Frenchy's Angels

    Leaving Rhyolite, we managed to take the picture we failed to get the night before.



    Up next? Scotty's Castle.







    A bell sat at the end of a long rope. Jessica, unable to control herself, just HAD to ring the bell.



    Immediately, a dour faced old tour guide biddy in a sad little hat came over to bitch. "You know that bell is to summons the next tour group," she said. "Now that you rang the bell, you have to do the next tour."

    Uhh.. no we don't. In order to pay our respects, we climbed the hill where Walter Scott, the con man who swindled his way into having this castle built, is buried.




    These Two Are Troublemakers!



    Scotty's Castle will forever have the distinction of being the place I had the absolute Worst Meal Ever. When starving, judgement can easily get clouded, and something as nasty as a frozen burrito can almost sound appealing. The wrapper had all the necessary warnings, including 'Previously Handled' and 'Frozen For Your Convenience.' Despite these warnings, we ate them anyway.

    Trust me when I say that eating anything that was 'Previously Handled' is a bad, bad idea. We lived. Barely.

    The excellently named Ubehebe Crater was next on our list. 







    Death Valley Park is a big place. We had to race back to Furnace Creek Ranch in order to make it in time for our Sunset Surprise.



    The surprise? Trading in our hundred-horsepower steeds for a less powerful mode of transportation.





    After watching the sun spectacularly dip below Telescope Peak aboard our one horsepower vehicles, we only had a few more thing left to make this Best Day Ever truly complete.

    Making up for the horrendous, gut-wrenching lunch, we gorged ourselves full on steak at the Western Steakhouse, then headed out back to look at the most incredible display of the Milky Way I've ever seen. 





    I tried to get a really good circle star trail picture, but the damn sprinklers kept coming on, soaking everything. 

    And, the best news of all, we had another day to see some of the lesser known sights of Death Valley before heading home. 
    78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

    Check out my blog.

    #2 Frenchy750

    FJR Pilot

    • Members+
    • PipPipPip
    • 132 posts
    • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:46 AM

    I set the alarm for Too Early O'Clock, because I wanted to watch the sun rise on Zabriskie Point. When the damn thing started ringing, Sniffling Beauty stirred, then announced she felt worse, and wanted to go back to sleep. It was cold, early, and cold. I couldn't blame her.











    The sunrise was nice, but certainly not the overwhelming display of Mother Nature at her finest I expected. Disappointed, I hurried back to the Ranch, because the Sloppy Jalopy club was preparing to make their annual run to Beatty.













    Awesome!

    We got a late start, which would affect the outcome of the trip, but for now, we decided to make the best of the day, and enjoy Artist's Drive, Eureka Mine, the Charcoal Kilns and Father Crowley's Point.






    Artist's Drive


    The road to Eureka Mine was an exciting soft-core adventure gravel road. Though not on the right bikes for this kind of riding, Jessica was game for it, so down the dirt road we went.









    The Eureka Mine was worth the 'adventure ride' to get there.










    Eureka Mine
     - Aguereberry Camp and Rusted Jalopy

    From Eureka Mine, it was some more soft-core adventure riding to the Charcoal Kilns, with some hardcore curves and bumps thrown in.



    The Wildrose Charcoal Kilns are up a steep gravel road, at about 6500 feet. Snow lined the road as we made our way up there.






    Wildrose Charcoal Kilns

    From the kilns, it was time to start making tracks. Which we did. In the gravel. We hauled ass down the straight, flatness of Panamint Valley road, stopping for a snack in Panamint Springs.

    I have found that on a motorcycle trip, I can eat whatever I want, without fear of those extra calories sticking to my thick middle section. I asked the waitress for my favorite motorcycle food - apple pie. She said all she had was pecan pie, but she could cut up an apple and put it on top.



    Fiona, who had been suffering in silence the whole day, started to feel even worse. She is such a trooper, because if I felt as shitty as she did, I'd be whining more than I usually do. She just sat back there and suffered, without saying a word. But she was suffering, so it was time to leave Death Valley.

    The ride home was dark and long, but at least it was cold. It was also totally worth it. Even Fiona, feeling as horrible as she did agreed it was a great trip. 


    Our Entire 940 Mile Trip

    Up next? The Road to Wrestlemania. It starts in a few weeks. Finally, Dark Meat Snack will return to riding, as we head from California to Houston, with a few nice surprises planned along the way.

    Until then, Happy Riding!! 
    78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

    Check out my blog.

    #3 okmac

    FJR Squadron Leader

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPip
    • 551 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:IA
    • 2007 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:52 AM

    Great report and pictures, thanks for sharing. yahoo.gif 

    Mac 
    2007 FJR1300

    #4 Tyler

    Miss Demeanor

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 5,335 posts
    • Gender:Female
    • Location:Los Gatos, CA
    • Other or considering FJR

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 07:57 AM

    Great story & pics... Death Valley sure is a great place, huh? cool.gif

    Hope Fiona is feeling better soon! smile.gif 

    Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly.

    A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles.

     

    JSNS_tour50x50_zpshbxdsjhm.jpg

    #5 SkooterG

    Purveyor of Crooked Facts

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • 11,506 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Skootsdale, AZ
    • 2004 (Gen 1) N. America
    • 2009 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:08 AM

    Awesome ride report. Hot chicks. Great photos.

    What else could a moto-man ask for?

    Thanks for sharing. 
    IBA #327........................ Darksider #52
     
    FJRForum:  No fun allowed here!

    FJR#1 - The 'Dirty Ol Whore' - 2004 non-abs - RIP @ 226,400 - Gone, but not forgotten.
    FJR#2 - The 'Hula Girl' - 2004 ABS - 154k
    FJR#3 - The 'Virgin' - 2004 ABS - 4344 miles, a garage queen
    FJR#4 - The Oregon FJR - 2004 ABS - 65k
    FJR#5 - The Bastard POS Gen II - 2009A - 106k
    FJR#6 - 2014 FJR1300 ES
     
     Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image  Posted Image  Posted Image

    #6 wheatonFJR

    ...

    • Banned
    • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • 16,348 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Greenville,SC
    • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:21 AM

    QUOTE (SkooterG @ Mar 17 2009, 10:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
    Awesome ride report. Hot chicks. Great photos.

    What else could a moto-man ask for?

    Thanks for sharing.


    same sentiments here...thanks for the great report. 
    Iggy's a douchetard.  JSNS
     

    #7 Bungie

    FrostBack #2 - IBA # 44620

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 4,596 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Sudbury, ON
    • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:25 AM

    Kick ass report! 

    100K04CLUB.jpg Sign up for the Assistance List - www.assistancelist.com

    #8 BwanaDik

    FJR Commander

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 1,720 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Conroe, TX
    • 2006 ABS AE (Gen 2) World

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:26 AM

    Outstanding ride report clapping.gif Looking forward to the next one 

    dropfinal.gifsfo08.gifsfo09.gifSWFOG2010.gifswfog-twitter-60px.jpgSWFOG2014_zps29cf405c.jpg BB1500 SS1000 IBA#39439

    #9 SouthernCruizer

    Is it Beer:30 yet?

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 1,410 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Eunice, LA
    • 2013A (Gen 3) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:29 AM

    Dang dude...GREAT report!! Nice pics, even nicer women type folks...gave me the fever to ROAD TRIP! yahoo.gif 

    Jay®

    2013 Yamaha FJR 1300
    2008 Yamaha FJR 1300

    2004 Yamaha FJR 1300
    2004 Suzuki DL 650 (WeeStrom) & 2007 Kawasaki KLX250S

    #10 Kasey

    FJR Pilot

    • Members++
    • PipPipPip
    • 203 posts
    • Gender:Female
    • Location:Oliver B.C.
    • 2003 (Gen 1) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:42 AM

    Well if one can't be out riding for whatever reason then your pics and report are the next best thing. Excellent! Thanks.

    Kasey 
    WFO 3, 5, 6 CFR '09 WCR '10

    #11 airboss

    FJR Commander

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 3,007 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Tucson, AZ
    • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America
    • 2015A (Gen 3) World

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:51 AM

    Another got to go to Place, thanks Frenchy! 

    Don't Know Where I'm Going........But this is Where I've Been
    Normal People.....................Scare me
    Anyone who doesn't know what soap taste like never washed a dog.

    The Others 2013 Ducati 796 the Monster 2015 Wee Strom

    #12 TCMike

    FJR Squadron Leader

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPip
    • 782 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Blaine, MN
    • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:54 AM

    Great report. Great pictures. Looked like the girlie's had fun, and you too Frenchy. 

    #13 barb

    the Vixen of Vancouver Island

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 2,502 posts
    • Gender:Female
    • Location:Kanuckistan, the left & BEST coast!
    • 2005 ABS (Gen 1) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 08:55 AM

    Great report, thanks for posting up! 

    #14 Gizmo

    FJR Pilot

    • Members++
    • PipPipPip
    • 398 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Chagrin Falls, OH
    • 2007 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:01 AM

    Nicely done and Great Pics. Thanks for posting it! Makes me wish I was there... 
    2007 A
    2007 Suzuki M50
    Send lawyers, guns and money

    #15 cometman

    FJR Pilot

    • Members++
    • PipPipPip
    • 415 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:San Diego, CA
    • 2004 ABS (Gen 1) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:03 AM

    Thanks for sharing. I have to do that trip one day. AWESOME! ph34r.gif 

    #16 rogdeb

    Scouser

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 3,466 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Rancho "Liverpool" Cordova, CA
    • Other or considering FJR

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:09 AM

    I'm feeling left out here !! All these Death Valley rides.
    clapping.gif More great pics ,, another cool story. 

    WFO's 1, 2, 3, 5, & 6 -- CFR '09 :-).. SW-FOG 2011 in Taos

    2003 FJR (Red Sylvie) sold :-(
     
    2015 CanAm Spyder RT-L (Black Sylvie)

    #17 Niehart

    Pie Smuggler

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPip
    • 5,395 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Pacific Northwet [Woodinville, WA]
    • 2010 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:27 AM

    Frenchy, ya crack me up man! 

    "The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page, [Saint Augustine). RIP Don Stanley"

    #18 RollOn1

    Training Pilot

    • Members+
    • PipPip
    • 26 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:West Linn, OR
    • 2008 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 09:50 AM

    Fantastic report, great pictures and well written to boot. Glad you enjoyed the ride, wish I was there instead of splashing through the rain drenched streets of PDX!!!! 
    2008 FJR 1300A
    1995 Honda Magna
    1987 Honda Goldwing
    1991 Honda Shadow
    1989 Honda Rebel

    #19 dcarver

    FJR Forum Post Whore

    • Members++
    • PipPipPipPipPipPip
    • 13,256 posts
    • Gender:Male
    • Location:Creston, CA
    • Interests:Bikes. Booze. Broads. Dirt. Street. Mud. Guts. Courage. Honesty.
    • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

    Posted 17 March 2009 - 10:58 AM

    Way cool DV report! How about having Fiona post her side of the story? yahoo.gif rolleyes.gif 
    I hate being sick and travelling on motobike, especially when wearing a full face helmet - sometimes open faced helmets ARE better! 
      Walked away Posted ImagePosted Image Is it really crashing if you don't fall down?--
      I wouldn't change a fucking thing; I've lived hard, played hard, and I ain't done yet. I've paid some severe penalties along the way, but the rewards have been so much greater; even if for just have participating in the game of life with utmost abandon. It's not who rides the furthest in a day, but rather in a lifetime. CBA member #1, IBA #31845 and very proud of both.
      Posted Image

      #20 jwhite518

      FJR Squadron Leader

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPip
      • 987 posts
      • Location:San Leandro, CA
      • 2005 (Gen 1) N. America

      Posted 17 March 2009 - 11:42 AM

      Best ride report ever. 

      Old Michael

      FJR Commander

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPipPip
      • 4,906 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Cameron Park, California
      • Other or considering FJR

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 04:52 PM

      Wow, that was damn entertaining. Very nice. Love the narrative as much as the pics.

      This photo especially is heartwarming. How many fellows on this forum remember themselves a lot like these kids, just beginning a lifelong love affair with two wheels?




      This Death Valley place, .... a good destination?


       

      RIP, Don Stanley.  
       

      #22 Frenchy750

      FJR Pilot

      • Members+
      • PipPipPip
      • 132 posts
      • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 05:01 PM

      QUOTE (Old Michael @ Mar 18 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      This Death Valley place, .... a good destination?


      I'd have to say yes, it's great in the spring. I was hoping we'd hit it when the wild desert flowers were in full bloom, but people told me they were late this year. In the summer the place is hotter 'n hell, but spring the high are in the 80's. There is plenty to see, the roads are curvy and fun, and it's really a great place to hang out and share some stories with fellow two wheel enthusiasts.

      The downside? Other than the heat is - the cost. Furnace Creek Ranch was $179 a night, while the Furnace Creek Inn was substantially more. There aren't a whole lot of places to stay inside Death Valley National Park, so they can charge what they want for a room. Camping is also an option, but when we were there it was INCREDIBLY windy at night.

      Really, the only way to find out if Death Valley is a good destination is to go.... 
      78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

      Check out my blog.

      #23 cota95

      RI Beach Pop

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPipPip
      • 2,426 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Lincoln, RI
      • 2016ES (Gen 4) World

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 05:47 PM

      Frenchy, excellent report as always. We have to hook up the next time your back in RI 

      IBA# 35652 ... AMA Life# 265496map_zpssgqfd7t6.jpg2010_Chowder run

      EOM 2006-07-08-09-11-13-15-16-17   NAFO 12   Ride to the Rock 2002-2017    NERDS 1 & 3

      #24 Frenchy750

      FJR Pilot

      • Members+
      • PipPipPip
      • 132 posts
      • 2006 ABS (Gen 2) World

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 06:13 PM

      QUOTE (cota95 @ Mar 18 2009, 08:47 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      Frenchy, excellent report as always. We have to hook up the next time your back in RI


      Absoooooolutely! 

      It'd be a pleasure to ride with one of the other fifty subjects of the Kingdom of Rhode Island!! 
      78% of all statistics are made up, including this one.

      Check out my blog.

      #25 03silverbullet

      FJR Squadron Leader

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPip
      • 635 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Chino Hills, CA
      • 2005 (Gen 1) N. America

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 10:16 PM

      I love Death Valley.

      Great ride report and pictures 

      #26 Toecutter

      What would DoG do?

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPipPip
      • 7,242 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Clovis, CA
      • 2004 ABS (Gen 1) N. America

      Posted 18 March 2009 - 11:09 PM

      QUOTE (TCMike @ Mar 17 2009, 08:54 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      Great report. Great pictures.


      So good, now I don't have to go.... 

      #27 rogdeb

      Scouser

      • Members++
      • PipPipPipPipPip
      • 3,466 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Rancho "Liverpool" Cordova, CA
      • Other or considering FJR

      Posted 19 March 2009 - 08:16 AM

      QUOTE (Frenchy750 @ Mar 18 2009, 05:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      QUOTE (Old Michael @ Mar 18 2009, 07:52 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      This Death Valley place, .... a good destination?


      I'd have to say yes, it's great in the spring. I was hoping we'd hit it when the wild desert flowers were in full bloom, but people told me they were late this year. In the summer the place is hotter 'n hell, but spring the high are in the 80's. There is plenty to see, the roads are curvy and fun, and it's really a great place to hang out and share some stories with fellow two wheel enthusiasts.

      The downside? Other than the heat is - the cost. Furnace Creek Ranch was $179 a night, while the Furnace Creek Inn was substantially more. There aren't a whole lot of places to stay inside Death Valley National Park, so they can charge what they want for a room. Camping is also an option, but when we were there it was INCREDIBLY windy at night.

      Really, the only way to find out if Death Valley is a good destination is to go....

      OM --- always mis-understood sad.gif 

      WFO's 1, 2, 3, 5, & 6 -- CFR '09 :-).. SW-FOG 2011 in Taos

      2003 FJR (Red Sylvie) sold :-(
       
      2015 CanAm Spyder RT-L (Black Sylvie)

      #28 For the Joy of Riding

      Training Pilot

      • Members+
      • PipPip
      • 65 posts
      • Gender:Male
      • Location:Tehachapi, CA
      • 2007 ABS (Gen 2) N. America

      Posted 20 March 2009 - 10:54 PM

      QUOTE (Frenchy750 @ Mar 17 2009, 07:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
      I set the alarm for Too Early O'Clock, because I wanted to watch the sun rise on Zabriskie Point. When the damn thing started ringing, Sniffling Beauty stirred, then announced she felt worse, and wanted to go back to sleep. It was cold, early, and cold. I couldn't blame her.











      The sunrise was nice, but certainly not the overwhelming display of Mother Nature at her finest I expected. Disappointed, I hurried back to the Ranch, because the Sloppy Jalopy club was preparing to make their annual run to Beatty.













      Awesome!

      We got a late start, which would affect the outcome of the trip, but for now, we decided to make the best of the day, and enjoy Artist's Drive, Eureka Mine, the Charcoal Kilns and Father Crowley's Point.






      Artist's Drive


      The road to Eureka Mine was an exciting soft-core adventure gravel road. Though not on the right bikes for this kind of riding, Jessica was game for it, so down the dirt road we went.









      The Eureka Mine was worth the 'adventure ride' to get there.










      Eureka Mine
       - Aguereberry Camp and Rusted Jalopy

      From Eureka Mine, it was some more soft-core adventure riding to the Charcoal Kilns, with some hardcore curves and bumps thrown in.



      The Wildrose Charcoal Kilns are up a steep gravel road, at about 6500 feet. Snow lined the road as we made our way up there.






      Wildrose Charcoal Kilns

      From the kilns, it was time to start making tracks. Which we did. In the gravel. We hauled ass down the straight, flatness of Panamint Valley road, stopping for a snack in Panamint Springs.

      I have found that on a motorcycle trip, I can eat whatever I want, without fear of those extra calories sticking to my thick middle section. I asked the waitress for my favorite motorcycle food - apple pie. She said all she had was pecan pie, but she could cut up an apple and put it on top.



      Fiona, who had been suffering in silence the whole day, started to feel even worse. She is such a trooper, because if I felt as shitty as she did, I'd be whining more than I usually do. She just sat back there and suffered, without saying a word. But she was suffering, so it was time to leave Death Valley.

      The ride home was dark and long, but at least it was cold. It was also totally worth it. Even Fiona, feeling as horrible as she did agreed it was a great trip. 


      Our Entire 940 Mile Trip

      Up next? The Road to Wrestlemania. It starts in a few weeks. Finally, Dark Meat Snack will return to riding, as we head from California to Houston, with a few nice surprises planned along the way.

      Until then, Happy Riding!!


      Frenchy; YOU ARE SO THE MAN!!!

      What an excellent ride report, photos, narrative, humor :-). Really enjoyed reading and picturing the ride!!! I was planning a trip there on April 4-5, only hope my ride and pics turn out as well as yours!!! Peace Dude!! Hope your gal is feeling a whole lot better!! I SAY YOU OWE HER BIG TIME!!!! biggrin.gif 
       
      Deanmort09/ Morticians rule they know how to pump the fluid!

       

      Theme by Danetsoft and Danang Probo Sayekti inspired by Maksimer